a life serving others is a life worth living

a life serving others is a life worth living

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i'm Lindsey, and i'm a very boring person. i am not glorifying any form of self destructive tendencies. welcome to my mind.


"I promised myself I wouldn’t do this, but we all make commitments we can’t stay true to for our own good reasons.
Please tell me you don’t think this is a mistake.
Tell me you don’t think of me every morning when you put on that necklace I gave you, and when you make that decision to continue wearing it.
Tell me I’m wrong to think this was the best thing I’ve ever had and you want me away.
And if you can’t tell me these things, then you and I can’t be wrong.
It can’t be wrong to have so many mutual dreams and goals with another human,
even with fear following beside us.
It can’t be wrong to love somebody so much that your hands shake to say it out loud.
I feel lost without you.
I feel broken and incomplete.
Every day is the challenge of not ruining my makeup,
or deciding it’s not worth putting any on because I haven’t stopped crying since you left.
Every day is listening to songs that remind me of you and either smiling as if we’re still okay,
or crying my heart out knowing that we aren’t.
Every day is having no appetite but trying to eat anyway,
as if you would somehow know I was trying to be okay and you’d be proud of me.
Every night is laying curled up crying until my stomach lining feels it’s tearing apart with no sleep.
And in the time I do sleep,
I can’t escape you in my dreams.
But they aren’t dreams,
yet nightmares, because in these dreams you still touch me and love me and fill me,
and I wake up alone and empty.
Tell me I’m wrong to not give up.
Tell me I’m wrong to stay.
If you want me gone for good,
say so.
If you want me here,
don’t let me go another sleepless night."
  I miss you more than I miss myself
Katey Chrest

(Source: thinly)